Comments to Paragraf 1:
1. Generally, this should be more focused:
- What is the Master's thesis about?
- What were these workshops about? Are they relevant?
- WHAT is he pursuing at CEU?
- What ASPECTS of his background is he referring to?
2. Delete or RELATE:
Secondary school/language interest-information (sentences 2 and 3). Information about grandfather.
Paragraph 1:
I am currently completing my Master's Degree in the Department of Languages at the Central European University in Budapest. Ever since I was in secondary school I was interested in languages. I've always liked to learn to talk and communicate in foreign languages. I had a rare opportunity to attend bilingual schools since I began my primary education, and so I am fluent in both Swahili and English, getting scholarships to attend some workshops a few years ago. At CEU I'm pursuing this. In addition, one of my earliest influences was my grandfather, the famous linguist Ishmael F.Jones III, who is of course best known for his work with Noam Chomsky. I believe that my background will provide me with the proper knowledge necessary to my undertaking.
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